


A Perennial Argument

by NoisyNoiverns



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Television Watching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 07:58:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10715388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoisyNoiverns/pseuds/NoisyNoiverns
Summary: Abrudas has a somewhat... questionable taste in vids. And unfortunately, she has control of the remote.





	A Perennial Argument

**Author's Note:**

> from a tumblr prompt: kisses meant to distract the other person from whatever they were intently doing
> 
> "valis" is abrudas as usual
> 
> s/o to [xMidnightSun](http://archiveofourown.org/users/xMidnightSun/pseuds/xMidnightSun) for thinking up the title and premise of the soap, it was completely off the top of their head and i am vaguely concerned

There were definitely perks to sleeping with your commanding officer, Valis decided. Besides the obvious, there was also the fact that Desolas was totally fine with her just dropping in to watch vids in private, sitting at the edge of his bed rather than in the rec center surrounded by people who would complain about her choice in entertainment.

Not that Desolas himself was a bastion of not giving a fuck, but he was easy enough to ignore.

“You spin me this long woe-is-me story, give me the galaxy’s most pitiful look, even get me to bring you food and tea, and you watch  _asari soap operas_  on my vidscreen.  _Really_ , Valis?”

She cast a glance over her shoulder at him, sitting with his back against the wall and datapads spread out in front of him, and snorted. “You said I could watch  _anything_  I wanted. Quit your bitching.”

“I assumed you meant shitty romcoms, or one of those crime procedurals where everyone trips over themselves to tell you how fake and inaccurate it is. Not... What even  _is_  this one, anyway?”

She shook her head and turned back to the vidscreen, taking a sip of her tea. “ _Heloramea, Goddess of Love Reborn_. It’s-”

“Oh,  _please_ don’t tell me the synopsis. That’s the literal worst title I have ever heard in my entire life. I’m  _sixty-two._ ”

“Hey, it came  _very_ highly recommended.” She paused the episode, then leaned over to grab the case and waved it in front of his face. “See, this asari’s bondmate dies, and she spends a couple centuries mourning. Then her friend gets her this job at an Ardat-Yakshi monastery, and-”

“Aren’t those those, like... they do the mind-meld thing, and you die?”

“I heard death only occurs in the most severe cases. Milder ones, it just  _feels_ like you’re dying, because it hurts like a bitch.”

“I fail to see how that’s an improvement.”

“You get brain damage instead of dying.”

“Again, not an improvement.”

She snorted. “Hey, it’s only  _brain damage_. I’m sure  _you_ wouldn’t notice the difference.”

She glanced back over her shoulder in time to see the most comically offended expression she’d ever seen cross his face. “Hey!”

She barked a short laugh, then flapped her mandibles at him.  _“As I was saying,_  she goes to this monastery and falls in love with an Ardat-Yakshi who turns out to be the reincarnation of her long-lost love, but the Ardat-Yakshi aren’t supposed to get in relationships because of the danger, so they hatch this scheme to help her escape while dealing with the realities of learning you’re a reincarnation of someone else. That’s the first season, anyway.”

“Who  _recommended_ this to you? I need to know so I can block them on social media.”

She rolled her eyes.  _“I_  think it sounds sweet. It’s charming, how the asari think true love can transcend the mortal coil, and all that stuff. Now shut up, I’m still on the pilot episode.”

“You know what? I’m totally putting this in your file. Under negatives, after ‘talks back to superior officers.’ ‘Thinks bizarre soap operas are the height of entertainment.’”

“Do your paperwork.” She bared her teeth at him, then turned back to the vidscreen and pressed play again.

Desolas grumbled behind her, but gradually fell silent. Satisfied, she took another drink, then shifted to make herself more comfortable, propped up her chin in her hand, and emptied her brain of all thoughts except ones about Lythyla V’Movius and her tragic tale.

Lythyla was just arriving at the monastery when Valis noticed the talons meandering up her arm.

She turned her head enough to check and make sure it was, in fact, a hand, and not a large, plate-dissolving bug (could never be too careful), then snorted quietly and turned back to the vidscreen. Whatever.

Apparently taking that as his cue, Desolas moved closer, and she felt the mattress shifted underneath her. The familiar edges of his nasal plates brushed against the peak of her cowl, and the hand on her arm moved to her side. “This is more melodramatic than my brother.”

“It’s a soap opera,” she said, leaning back against him. If he was going to sit there, he might as well make himself useful. “Of course it is.”

“If you know it’s cheesy and bad, why do you watch it?” He mouthed at her mandible, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer. She purred and sank down so her head rested against the side of his keel, and adjusted her hips so he could cross his legs around her waist.

“One, I didn’t say it was bad.” She rubbed her head against his cowl, humming when he started running his teeth along the edges of her plates. “Two, the cheese makes it good.”

“I sincerely doubt that.” A talon pushed her chin up, and she turned so she could still see the screen while he pressed a kiss to her maxillary plates.

She chirped against his mouth, just to make sure he knew the gesture was appreciated, then pulled back a little. “If you hate it so much, why are you watching?”

“It’s the only other source of noise in the room. Kind of hard to ignore.” Another kiss, more insistent this time.

She hummed and relented, but only for a few moments before pulling away again and nuzzling his cowl, eyes closing. “Mm. I know you’re just trying to distract me so you can turn it off, so I’ll make you a deal. Let me watch, and I’ll let you kiss me during the dull parts.”

He snorted, and she swatted at him before he can speak. “Don’t say it.”

He rolled his eyes, then adjusted his position so she’d be more comfortable. “Fine, fine. I’ll watch your saccharine nonsense show. But you owe me.”

“You can pick what we watch next time.” She purred and rubbed her face along his keel, opening her eyes again in time for the music in the show to swell. A new asari had appeared on-screen, and as Lythyla stared, a ghostly image of her dead bondmate appeared over her.

Then cut to black, the credits rolled, and Desolas snorted. “I’m going to puke up my own gizzard.”

She scowled and knocked her hand against his knee. "Just for that, you don’t get to talk during the next episode. _I_ thought it was good.”

He hummed. “Do I still get to kiss you?”

“We’ll see.”


End file.
